My university, here in Huainan, that has looked so deserted for the past few weeks has started showing some signs of life. The odd student has started returning and there is certainly more activity here than in the last few weeks. The early birds here are the ones looking for their worms of love. Apparently, unable to bear the long Spring Festival-induced separation, they have come back to school sooner than necessary - sooner than necessary as per the school's diktats but perhaps, less sooner than the necessity imposed by nature. Which means, they have borne the festivities with some sort of stoicism. Spring Festival is the time when reunions are de rigeur for families. But lovers do not qualify as family and so they must make do with a period of segregation. They walk now, hand-in-hand, arm-in-arm, smiles on their faces, homes and hearths forgotten in the fire of love.

Lantern Festival! Today, the fifteenth day of the Spring Festival, a full moon day, is the Lantern Festival when people remember their ancestors, if I recall rightly. After today, this year's Spring Festival will be consigned to the caves in the minds of the people and the hearts of lovers. Some will remember it with fondness and others, perhaps, with a little less, depending on what the festival gave or took from them. The streets this morning are deserted. The morning was noisy though, with firecrackers rousing me from my tossing-turning sleep well before fingers of light could brighten the horizon.

Xia Wu Fandian (Afternoon Restaurant, if my translation skills are any good), my head-office as I refer to it since most of my meals and drinking are 'accomplished' there, was crowded. I walked on to see more of the festivities. All I saw was unenforced curfew - or, perhaps, a curfew enforced by tradition. I imagined people sitting to a lavish spread with their ones at home, leaving the streets to be trawled by the homeless and the foreigners, perhaps, equally homeless in some sense. I returned an hour later and the restaurant was as deserted as the streets and I sat down to my small measure of baijiu (white wine) appetizer and cabbage with fried and diced pieces of doufu (tofu, beancurd) and a bowl of rice to go with it. It tasted good, as usual. It's a dish created by a student's (Chris's) pretty girl firend, Peace. She directed the restaurant's owner-cum-chef on how to prepare it and it has become a hit with me and a few others I have taken with me to sample the dish.

While I waited, I asked the owner's mother, who helps clean and wash the dishes there, where the lao ban niang (mistress of the establishment) was. 'Mama', a genial old lady, with an ever smiling face and busy hands, signalled that she was at home in bed. Why, I asked. She indicated that he, her son the lao ban, (the boss) had beaten her. I am about to call him and ask why he did that, forgetting for a moment, that men have been beatiing their wives for thousands of years, not only in China, India or Asia but all over the world. Thankfully, most women don't cower in the face of domestic violence anymore. Instead, they are more than willing to desert their violent husbands/mates. Unfortunately, in parts of Asia, women still allow that and don't raise a hand against their partners, nor their voice against the 'practice'. I wonder when this violence will end, when men will return their women the dignity they not only deserve but have earned over centuries. I believe, it's men with a huge sense of inferiority that do this, not men who are real men.

Festival times are not times to rejoice for all...for some they are times of torture!

When it comes to the art of giving, a gift of clothes is fraught with peril. We all have stories to tell, and if you don't, you will. Just give it time.

Mine started early. My grandmother, having survived the Depression, knew how to stretch a dollar. Clothes for her grandkids were always purchased 3 or 4 sizes too big so we could "grow into them". And she passed this charming trait on to my mother. So, we endured our baggy clothes, with the sleeves and pant legs rolled up, until we were finally big enough to wear them with dignity. By which time they were ready for donation.

Then there's my husband. Heaven forbid I should try to give the man a Polo shirt with an uneven hemline. Most Polos are made longer in the back to help them stay "tucked", but hubby goes un-tucked -- always. He rejects any polo that breaks the rule, no matter how subtly. For an otherwise easy-going guy, his behavior is almost perverse.

If you must give clothes this season, there's one giftee on your list who's sure to look great in any outfit you buy him. He'll wear your gift with pride and appreciation, head held high and tail wagging.

That's right, your dog. Or your best friend's dog. It's so easy you'll wonder why you didn't think of it before.

Dogs love any kind of attention you lavish on them. So, Spike will wear his outfit - whether it's cute or ridiculous - as soon as he sees how happy it makes his owner. Spot will eat up all that extra attention he gets from strangers. And Fifi might even want to Vogue for the camera.

Clothes shopping for dogs is a lot like clothes shopping for babies. Unless you're going for practicality, cuteness is what counts. And that's easy to accomplish, given that any dog wearing clothes looks pretty darned cute.

Choices in dog clothes range from winter sweaters to football jerseys and summer tees. You can get a set of flannel PJ's for bedtime or a terry robe for after bath. There's even an entire line of Harley clothes for dogs, complete with leather cap and studded collar. Dog costumes made for parties and holidays are just too cute for words.

If you really want your gift to be a hit with admirers, accessorize. Try a designer dog collar and maybe a cool pair of sunglasses--they make them just for dogs. And I recently heard that leg warmers are making a come back.

Got a mischievous sense of humor? Making the baby look silly might be a no-no, but it's good clean fun when it comes to dressing up a dog. There are some really creative doggie costume out there that are good for a chuckle or two.

There's really only a couple of rules you'll need to keep in mind when shopping for dog clothes:One is that if the dog in question is an avid chewer, you should avoid buying him anything tempting. Shiny buttons, fringe, and feathers are examples that come to mind. An object that can easily be chewed off and swallowed is a choking hazard and can get stuck in the dog's digestive tract.

The other rule is that any dog, no matter how tolerant, will be more comfortable wearing clothes that fit. Proper fit typically requires measuring from the dog's collar to the base of her tail for length. Most garment's girth can be adjusted with velcro tabs, but could still be an issue with a barrel-chested breed such as a bulldog. Measurements are typically in inches.

Remember that a dog will never "diet down" into an outfit that's too small , or -- unless you're shopping for a puppy or a pregnant female -- "grow into" an item that's too big. (Sorry, Grandma.)

Oh, and one more thing--if you're handy with a sewing machine, you can make your own dog clothes creations. Just don't forget to include an opening for the dog to relieve himself. Don't laugh, it happens a lot!

Now, if you're shopping for your own dog, you're all set. But if you're buying clothes for someone else's dog, I've got a few more tips for you.

Surveys conducted on the subject of gift preferences of men and women have shown that men prefer gifts that are more playful or practical. So, if the dog's owner is male this might translate into a doggie Harley jacket, a funny costume, or a reflective hunting vest (more on practical clothing in another article!).

Women, on the other hand, prefer gifts that are beautiful, memorable, and personal. It shouldn't be hard to find an item of clothing for a woman's dog that's either beautiful or memorable or both, and it will of course be personal!

Exception: if the woman is someone you don't know well. The more distant the relationship between giver and receiver, the riskier it is to give a personal gift. So, be they man or woman, if you don't know the dog owner very well, you probably shouldn't be buying dog clothes for their pet.

I hope you'll have fun picking out something nice for the canine on your shopping list. If you get a chance, send me a photo!

Student Motivation List

At this time of year many of our students have begun to loose focus, and interest begins to wane. As a result off-task behaviors begin to rise and classroom disruptions increase and we miss out on quite a bit of instructional time as we deal with these issues.

It may be helpful (especially with the males in your classroom) to take this opportunity to build into our instruction some items of high interest.

To that end, I am attaching to this message one of the surveys I provide students who have behavior challenges in an effort to find out some of their motivating factors. Feel free to add to, remove or modify the list as you see fit. Uses can be as simple as counting soccer balls instead of oranges during math class, or building the topics into your writing prompts.

Here is the list:
Airport tour
Animals
Architecture
Art
Auto mechanics
Auto dealerships
Backpacking
Barbecue party
Baseball
Basketball
Beaches
Bike/Hike Trail
Birds
Board games
Boating
Bowling
Buy a car, how to
Camping trip
Canoeing
Car wash
Career clinic
Cars
Cartoons
Castles
Cats
Cave exploring
Child care
Civil defense
College or University visit
Collections
Communications
Community service
Conservation project
Cooking
Court Session
Cruises
Cycling
Dance
Diet and nutrition
Disabled citizen assistance
Dogs
Dolls
Drug abuse/alcoholism
Emergency preparedness
Exercise
Fashion/design
Fire safety
First aid training
Fish
Fishing
Football
Gardening
Golf
Gothic
Government officials
Ham radio
Hiking
History, town
History, family trace
Horseback riding
Horseshoes
Hunter safety
Indians
Industry, local
Insects
Job interview skills
Jogging/running
Jumping rope
Jungles
Leadership skills
Lifesaving, swimming
Martial arts
Military
Model building
Morality, ethics
Motorcycles
Mountaineering
Movies
Music listening
Nature
Nature walks
Newsletter writing
Orienteering
Outdoor living
Part-time jobs
Photography
Physical fitness
Planetarium
Plants and wildlife
Plays produce
Playgrounds
Power station
Public speaking
Puzzles
Racing
Recycling
Rafting
Road rally
Rock climbing
Sailing
Saving money
Scholarships
Scuba
Senior citizen assistance
Skateboarding
Skating
Skiing
Slide show, plan a
Snorkeling
Soccer
Softball
Sports
Sports medicine
Sports safety
State capitol
Summer jobs
Television station
Tennis
Trains
Video games
Volleyball
Walking
Watercraft
Waterskiing
Weather bureau
Wilderness survival
Winter sports
Wolves
Woodcrafts
Other___________________________________

Let me know if you have any questions.

Reggie

A basketball hoop in the driveway, on the garage, or above a poured slab of concrete in the back yard is a must for hoops junkies. The new basketball goal is the perfect place to shoot some hoops with your kids, sharpen your own game, or get in a game of two on two with the gang from the neighborhood. However, before you go to put your basketball hoop up, there are things to consider. Where should you put it, how should it be attached, and what type do you want to get?

First and foremost, you will need to decide what kind of basketball hoop ou need. The three main types to consider are portable basketball goals, in-ground basketball goals, and wall mounted basketball goals. Only by considering the pros and cons of each kind will you be able to determine the best type of hoop for you and your home.

A portable basketball hoop is going to be best if you are someone who wants to be able to move your goal inside at the end of the day. It is also going to be your best bet if you dont want to go to the trouble of installing an in-ground goal. It is also perfect if your family moves frequently or lives somewhere that will just not work for a regulation court. The base that holds the hoop system in place is generally filled with water or sand, but is still easily moveable because of a set of wheels on the front of the base.

The more traditional basketball hoop is the in-ground goal. This hoop is actually anchored in the ground. In-ground goals work best for people or families that have a space where such a goal can be installed. This is usually ground just next to a driveway or a concrete pad that has been poured expressly for the purpose of basketball. If you are thinking of buying an in-ground hoop, take into consideration that it is a fairly permanent fixture and probably not for you if you plan to move in the near future.

The in-ground hoops can really be divided into inexpensive and heavy duty. The inexpensive are the type you would buy for younger children. They are not as sturdy and do not last as long, but they are fantastic for giving children a place to shoot hoops at home. The second type, the heavy duty in-ground basketball hoop, is great for both children and adults. Generally they have break-away rims to accommodate dunking and to give a truer bounce. The heavy-duty cost more, but will last longer and will withstand heavy use much better than the inexpensive brands. The heavy duty goals are generally best for those that are more serious about basketball.

Wall mounted hoops are also popular. Wall mounted goals are ideal for those who are have only limited space, but want to put up a more permanent basketball hoop. The wall mounted hoops come with brackets so that they can be mounted on an already existing area. They can be put on garage roofs, against walls, or even off of the side of your home if you so desire. These permanent basketball hoops are commonly found above garage doors for great driveway play. The installation on them is a bit easier than in-ground, but offers you the challenge of having to get on top of your garage or a ladder.

No matter which system of mounting your basketball goal you use, just make sure it is the best one for you. Find the right one and you will be giving you and your family a chance to play a great sport right outside your front door.

I am a genetically mapped New York Giant football fan which pretty much makes me just like millions of other DNA doomed dummies who for some unexplainable reason innately pledge their allegiance to a set of colors, numbers and helmet symbols for eternity. Like Canadian geese, we partner with a team for life, through thick and thin, good times and bad, seasons ending in playoffs and seasons ending with top five choices. It is the football gene and if you have it, you understand. Alas, if only marriage could work the same.

The fact is it isnt like marriage. It is not that we are in love with our teams and our teams in love with us. If that were true, it would be like a relationship, requiring everyones needs to be met, resulting in fans dropping the souring attraction of one team for the empty promises of another. Nope, love is not involved. Its a pathetic, sad, lonely one way street that is determined at birth. You are what you are: a Steeler, a Charger, a Seahawk, a Bengal, a Buccaneer. Some of us taste sweet victories frequently, while others wallow in self pity perpetually. It is no different from some people being tall and some people being short. It is my hope that someday stem cell research will produce a treatment to help some of my suffering brothers; for example, change a Cardinal fan into a Cowboy fan, giving them some hope of enjoying a winning season before they die.

It is our game. We dont particularly delight in watching our teams flounder amidst a room full of fence sitters, people without the gene. Youre either with us or against us. And when it is late October and all we can think about is replacing coaches, players and team ownership, our shoulders slump as we prepare to endure the inescapable long November and December weekends in silent lonesome agony.

It is a terrible, terrible existence; worse than that experienced by other sport fans because there is so much time for so few games. This imbalance gives the true football fan plenty of time to trick ones mind to think with a few breaks here and a few calls there that a 1-7 start can miraculously turn into a 9-7 wild card berth, only to be soundly crushed eventually by the shear weight of the challenge.

But no matter how bad the season, we can all unite for that final game, the Super Bowl. We can all find a reason to like one team over another. Usually it is the result of some convoluted thinking that somehow our team is vindicated if the right team wins. For example, I was really pulling for the Seattle Seahawks in this last Super Bowl. Why? Because the NY Giants should have beaten the Seahawks. Everyone knows that. So if the Seahawks beat the Steelers, I could rest easier knowing we could have been there too. We could have been somebody.

Unfortunately, the Super Bowl has become tedious to watch for the genetically mapped fan. It seems as if the game is diced up and wedged into a five hour colossal commercial to the world of American self indulgence. The game is sixty minutes of play that normally takes two and a half to three hours to get through. The Super Bowl somehow shoehorns in two more hours from start to finish, thirty minutes right off the bat for scatting through what I think is the National Anthem, and then an additional ten minutes to flip the coin.

Every year it gets a bit more dramatic, a bit more long, a bit more embarrassing and a bit more intolerable. Just play the game! The players have worked so hard for this single game and the NFL pulls it out from under them with all the self serving promotion. For instance, this year they introduced a series of ten second clips throughout the game of despicable Super Bowl Trophy fondling, where key players from each team pose individually with the trophycaressing it, kissing it, and worse. You cant do that! Why its its its the epitome of putting on the whammy. They might just as well get the evil eye. Some of those guys are going to lose and when they do, they will have to live with the idea that they cursed the team with their ill-advised trophy antics. Theyd have to hold a gun to my head for me to do that. If the Giants ever get to Super Sunday again, to a player they better never ever touch that trophy, let alone even set eyes on it, before it is duly earned. The whole thing made me sick! I couldnt even eat another wing dripping in blue cheese sauce.

And what is going on with the half time extravaganza? Can we calm that thing down? Can we see more xs and os and less screaming clueless teenagers making a grown man cry. The game has become the opening act for a concert, rather than the other way around. There seems to be more concern about costume malfunctions than referee malfunctions, which there were plenty of. I suppose I could put the extra time to good use, like paint the house, but I dont want to. I want to stay involved in the moment of the battle. But these Vegas shows are killing my patience. And as bad as it is for the fan, it must be brutal keeping players focused in the locker rooms.

Having said all that, we know that most of the added time is due to the commercials. Ah, the commercials. It is all about the commercials. How can they extend the game to make a few more bucks on commercials? Why dont they give each coach ten time outs? Why dont they have two minute warnings every minute? Pretty soon, theyll have to start the game noon Saturday and have it end midnight Sunday. And the commercials arent even that entertaining anymore. Its killing me. The madness has to stop.

So here are some ideas to get the game that the real fans support so tirelessly back on track. First, eliminate the extra week prior to the game and shift the season so that the Super Bowl is played on Presidents Day weekend. Second, fix the refereeing by employing full time referee teams. Third, use the half time to honor the latest Hall of Fame inductees, or our troops, or Super Bowl MVPs of years pastmake it about the game or something noble, not about pop icons. If you want to have concerts, have them before the game starts. Finally, rein in the commercials.

What the NFL executives have allowed the Super Bowl to become is what is so unappealing about America to people who have no other lens. Everything is bigger than life. Everything is glitzy. Everything is so self important. Its a bad, media contrived face to the world. Please bring our simple, humble game back. Please let the players play the game they earned to play. Please stop the insanity.

Im beggin ya please!

In this article we're going to cover some basic things to do and ask when choosing a daycare center for your child.

The first thing you need to do when going to a daycare center to determine if it's one you want to send your child to is ask them if they have any openings. This should be the very first question you ask. If their answer is no and you need daycare in the near future then they most likely will not be able to meet your needs. If, however, you really want this center then find out when they expect to have an opening and make plans.

The next thing you have to find out is where the center is located and how the traffic is in early morning or rush hour evening hours. If traffic is really bad you know that you're going to have to leave yourself extra time to get your child to the center and extra time for pickup, especially if the center closes at a certain hour.

The next thing you have to find out is what their hours of operation are. If the center has hours from 9 to 6 and you have to be at work at 8 AM then you are going to have a bit of a problem unless you can arrange to have someone else bring your child to the center. Most centers however do have hours long before normal work hours begin and long after normal work hours end. Just make sure you find out exactly what the hours are.

The next thing that's important to know is if there are any special holidays or dates when the center is closed. Not all businesses celebrate all holidays. For example, many businesses may be open on Martin Luther King's birthday. If yours is one of them and the center is closed for that day you are going to have to make plans for someone to either stay with your child or if possible bring your child to another center for a day or if worst comes to worst, bring your child to work. Make sure you know this well in advance.

Of course you are going to have to find out what the center charges and if there are any special supplies you will have to bring. Some centers provide diapers and food but many do not. So find this out in advance. Also, find out how payment needs to be made and when. Some centers require payment in advance and other allow you to pay at the end of each period, whether it be weekly or monthly.

It may not be a bad idea to find out the ages of the other children. If they are all older than your child you may not want to take your child to that center as there could be a greater danger of problems.

Find out if the center offers some kind of flex time in case you have a strange schedule. Some centers actually have a day shift and a night shift. Find this out if your needs require odd hours.

This may not seem important but find out what their turnover rate is. A high turnover rate may indicate a poorly run center.

Find out if there are backups to the main provider should he or she become ill. The last thing you want to find out is that you can't bring your child one day because there is only one caregiver and they are out sick.

Finally, find out if the center is certified. While this doesn't always mean the center is great, you'll have a better chance of getting a good center if it is certified.

By following the above tips you should have little trouble in finding a suitable daycare center for your child.

The First Kiss

It was a few days after Christmas, 1969. I was loaded down with cash from grandparents, uncles, aunts, and others who years before had given up trying to figure me out. Im talking about tens of dollars and it was burning a big hole in my pocket.

Little did I know, this gift of cash would be the first domino to fall in a chain of dominos that would lead to the gift of euphoria.

I received a call from my close girl-type friend, Shirley, completely out of the blue. She was going to Willowbrook Mall with a girlfriend, and wanted to know if I would like to join them. Reluctant at first, I felt that hole burning where the cash was pocketed. I wanted to buy the Crosby, Stills and Nash album released the prior June. After a little more thought, the first domino fell. I met them at the corner of Bloomfield and Ridgewood Avenues to pick up the bus that would drag us out to the Willowbrook Mall.

I didnt offer to drive them in the family car because I couldnt. I was only weeks from turning eighteen and I did not have my license yet. I was afflicted with Boring Oldest Brother Syndrome, BOBS), a disease that attacks the maturity system; for example rendering one to postpone getting ones drivers license for as long as one possibly can. Its quite crippling really.

Happily, I met them at the bus stop.

Shirley introduced me to Sue. It took, oh lets see, about 3.7 seconds. Nope, I think less. Im pretty sure it was when I heard the ue sound of her name that I instantly felt something deep inside my chest, a ping right below the top of the rib cage, like an electric shock only it didnt hurt; it felt really goofy, really exhilarating.

She was beautiful. Her hair smelled like the freshest Breck shampoo for color treated hair I had ever laid nose on. And she was awash in Shalimar perfume, sending my olfactory glands into nasal nirvana.

During the bus ride to the mall, surprisingly I was overcome by an eerie confidence that pushed me to new heights of flirtatious wit. I was on top of someone elses game and loving it! By the time we had arrived at the mall, I was hooked. Oh boy was I hooked. We had giggled our way into some kind of magic. And the very best part, as I would learn later from Shirley, who by then had been ordained the puppet master of Bobs love world, was that Sue didnt just like me, she LIKED meas in capital lettersLIKED me!

How quickly ones fortunes change when suddenly plunged into the throes of youthful romantic chase. We walked the long winding caverns formed by nameless boutiques and anchor stores, laughing and smiling and teasing and touching and laughing some more. To the casual observer, it was probably nauseating but I didnt care. I was dominoing into a wonderful new world. I bought the CS&N album. The girls replenished their perfume stock. Before we knew what hit us, it was time to go.

As the bus pulled away, my mind was dancing in heaven. But by the time we arrived back and disembarked where the adventure had all begun, heaven had turned to hell. It was all too good to be true. Rejection was moments away. Such was the fragile nature of my life.

The bus sputtered away from our stop, dumping an ominous black cloud of monoxide in its wake. But all I could immerse myself in was Sue, who by now was wearing a dazzling array of seventeen fragrances she had tested on her delicate soft wrists for me to blushingly critique. The air about her was a beautiful collage to the finely tuned nasal passages of a teen boy in fresh mushy pursuit. Unfortunately it was a wondrous moment that could not last. It was time to be noble in the face of her pleasant rejection with an empty smile, and cherish the fond memory of the mall.

I took the lead step in the dance of disengagement.

Well, I guess I have to get going. As clever a line as I had ever led with.

Yeah, its dinner time and my brother is picking me up at Shirleys in ten minutes.

Hey Shirls, can you give me a call later after din? I asked, trying not to tip my cards too much.

Yeah, no problem. I think we have something to talk about. She was so obvious.

Oh yeah? You think? I coyly replied.

Yeah, we need to talk too Shirls? Sue added.

My heart sank at the foreboding potential of their pending conversation. I reached deep inside to maintain the high road.

All right then, I guess thats that! Everyone needs to talk! Everyone is talkin! Not a very good job. I probably needed to reach deeper.

Unfortunately my old friend panic had made himself at home in my thoughts. Was this going to be as good as it gets? Was my breath killing her? Was she just now realizing the lowliness of her affection?

I had to say something but what? What could I possibly say to rescue this sweet moment from the clutches of rejection like all the others?

I found it.Okay then catcha! My rescue skills needed work.

It was really nice to meet you Bob. I had a really great time.

My inner voice wallowed, Yeah right. And I have a nice personality too. Isnt that what you want to say? Go on. I can take it!

Me too, Sue. Take care. I answered. Oh well, I was noble.

I turned to Shirley.

Hey Shirls, talk to ya later!

With shoulders drooped, I started my trek home in emotional upheaval, feeling exuberance and dread simultaneously. The days events played over and over in my head. I forced myself to think about something else, like hockey fights, but to no avail. The feel of her warm wrists kept interrupting. I was in bad shape.

I barely ate dinner that night, which set off all kinds of alarms at home. Moms inquisition began: was I feeling okay, did someone steal my money at the mall, was I depressed about school starting in a few short days?

Nope, I am just falling in love for the very first time. Thats all. There is nothing that can be done. My heart must travel this journey alone. It will find its waysomehow. Thank you though for inquiring. I indulged my inner self.

I excused myself from the table to retreat to my sanctuary, where I listened to Suite: Judy Blue Eyes about forty seven times, waiting for the puppet masters call. Finally, the phone rang.

Hello?

She really likes you. She got right to it, a trademark of her no nonsense style.

Oh God! Really?

Yeah. She thinks youre really cute and funny.

Suddenly another voice.

Oh my precious Bobby. My little lover boy.

Damn! It was my little brother Steve. He could become a real pitbull of pain if I didnt squelch this immediately.

Hold on Shirls.

I placed my hand over the phone.

Hey Stevey hang up or Ill chop up your GI Joe! I screamed at the top of my lungs. I didnt like playing the GI Joe mutilation card but I was desperate to stop him in his tracks.

I listened into the receiver.

Click.

I removed my hand and continued.

Sorry about that. So where were we? Oh yeah, cute? Cant I ever be rugged or athletic or something? I asked despondently.

To me cute was a notch above nice personality. Oh, hes so cute as in hes so cute to like me but I could care lessthat kind of cute.

Forget rugged. She said cute and meant it in a good way.

In a good way, I repeated.

Yes in a good way. Look she LIKES you!

Are you sure?

Yes, I just got off the phone with her! She wanted to know about your situation.

What situation? I have no situation. Ive never had a situation. Im situation free!

Thats what I told hernot in those words exactly. I smoothed it out for ya.

Smoothed what out? I dont need smoothing.

Dont make me laugh! You need plenty. I told her you were just coming around from a terrible break-up from over a year ago.

Oh thats smooth Shirls!

Yeah, I thought you might like it. She thinks you are sensitive and likes that.

I took a deep breath.

Wow now what?

I was a fish out of water, pathetically incompetent in such matters. Maybe I could get advice from my younger brothers. My mind was racing.

Listen! There is a get-together tomorrow night at Shnookys house. Sue is going and wants you to come over.

Shnooky lived in this weird world where her dad publicly called her my little Shnooky; hence the nickname. Visiting her house was like walking onto the set of Father Knows Best.

Are you positive? Really? She wants me to go?

Yes! Dont you get it ... she LIKES you.

Are you going?

Yeah but not until later. Gotta baby-sit till 9:30.

What should I do?

Well you could call her for starters and talk to her.

Talk to her? What would I say?

Shirley was losing patience with me.

You know Bob I dont have time for this right now. Just go. Just be there.

Just be

Gotta go. Catcha tomorrow night. Good Luck!

Click. Dialtone.

My life line was gone in an instant. I was swirling in a sea of uneasiness. I wondered what should I do now?

I immediately ditched the idea of calling her, why take the chance of saying something wrong. So I went to bed counting the hours to Shnookys instead.

After a long day of worry, 6 p.m. finally rolled around and time to get ready for the big get-together. After showering with my English Leather soap-on-a-rope, I toweled off and sprayed my arm pits with Right Guard, enlarging the ozone hole over Antarctica by about fourteen square miles. Next the goods were crowbarred into two of my cleanest, tightest fruit of the loom briefs for precautionary purposes, as the nights activities could easily trigger an embarrassing situation. After tucking the apparatus in real nice, I put on my favorite faded jeans, held nicely in place by my cool surfer belt. I threw on an undershirt, my best blue long-sleeve oxford shirt, tag still attached, thick matching crew socks, desert boots, topping it all off with an old washed out navy blue crewneck sweater. The sweater served a few purposes. Primarily, I was under the delusion that it was a look. It also might make a useful cover up should the double binding underpants fail to conceal things in the event of a situation.

Once dressed, I had to work on the face, no easy proposition. Apparently, during the prior night while sleeping, no less than four pimples showed up and five long wispy dark chin hairs. A quick buzz from my trusty rotary bladed Norelco and the chin hairs were history. A splash of British Sterling, well more like a dunking, and I was smelling pretty damn good. It was a skillful blend of the natural fruity notes from Prell, the woodsy undertones from the English Leather soap, the bold sporty scent from Right Guard, and the raw sexual energy of British Sterling, coming together in a circus of sensuality as harmonious as a Schoenberg symphonic poem.

This odor thing was very important because it was going to have to mask the pungent stench emitted by the two pounds of Clearasil I was about to cake on the pimples.

With pimples buried, hair combed, and lips glistening in Chapstick, I was ready to go out and conquer the night. I managed to get to the dinner table in time to down some grub, avoiding eye contact and communication with Steve the entire time. Successfully accomplished, I raced upstairs, gargled, brush my teeth and popped some Sen-Sen for added fresh breath insurance. I was as ready as I could be.

At arrival, I greeted Mrs. Shnooky, and made my way downstairs to the finished basement.

There she was. We made eye contact immediately and I smiled a grin so big that I could feel the plaster-like Clearasil on my zits cracking. She looked so beautiful.

We sat close and talked awhile, staring into each others eyes the entire time. I could smell her hair. I was melting. At one point she took my hand in her hand. It was like nothing I had ever felt before. Her hand was warm and soft; her fingers silky smooth to the touch. It wasnt just skin a felt. It was flesh; wonderful, living flesh. Instantly, alarms were set off from my brain to every nerve ending in my body. I began to shake uncontrollably. I had three thousand layers of clothing on and I was shivering like a chilled baby. I would learn later on in life that I got the shakes with every new hand I held.

Hey are you okay? she asked in the sweetest disarming voice I had ever heard. I inhaled her breath. Electricity instantly shot down to my toes.

Yeah, I just have these shakes for some reason. Im not even cold.

Thats weird.

Youre tellin me?

There was an awkward moment of silence. Then she spoke in a whisper.

Hey, I need to talk to you about something in private. Want to take a walk outside in the snow?

I stared blankly. I didnt hear a word she said.

We could walk over to the country club. Itll be fun. She stopped talking and studied me for some kind of response. I needed to say something but what? I played the tape back over in my mind until I found some key words to play off of.

You want to take a walk? I nervously repeated.

Oh God the touch of her hand was so nice, I pleaded internally please dont let go ... please dont let go please, oh please, oh please, dont let go.

I mean sure. We can walk and talk. I mean you can talk while we walk or I can she squeezed my hand, squinted at me with her bright blue eyes, and saved me from myself.

Come on lets go. She said calmly, leading me by the hand up the stairs.

We threw on our coats, gloves and hats, and exited out the back door. Once outside, she put her arm around my waste, and in a reflex reaction I put my arm around her shoulder. I had never hugged a girl before. I started to shake again. Even though it was about twenty degrees out, even though we were swollen from layers of thick heavy clothing, even though I was shaking spastically, and even though my Clearasil was flaking off in crusty chunks, I felt like we were one being.

We continued to make small talk, during which I was able to get her to laugh as we trudged through the snow, crossed the freshly plowed street and walked onto the country club golf course. I didnt want the moment or feeling to end. It was really dark out, although the dry white snow brighten the way by reflecting what little light passed on by. It was hard to tell from the drifting snow but I think we were walking across a green when she suddenly stopped and turned to face me.

Youre shaking. Poor baby. She lifted her arms up and grabbed the collar of my coat. I placed my arms around her waste.

Remember, I wanted to talk to you in private, she whispered, her minted breath filling the crisp night air, dancing into my soul.

Here it comes, the nice personality speech. I was so short on confidence of any kind. I decided to gallantly cut her off at the pass.

Yeah, I remember. Hey, look. You dont have to say But before I could be gallant, her glossed lips puckered and headed my way. I instinctively closed my eyes before contact. Then, as if swallowed by the Earth, she stepped off the lip of a giant sand trap we unknowingly had been standing precariously above.

In my effort to grab her as she slid down the slope, my feet went out from under me. I rolled down the hill in hot pursuit, crashing into her at the bottom, some eight feet below. We both began to laugh as she rolled over on top of me. And we laughed some more. Then we laughed a little less, and a little less until the only sounds one could hear were those of our silence and stare. And then she leaned down and kissed me.

What I remember most was that our teeth smacked into each other. I feared I had chipped one of her upper incisors. So I pulled back. She smiled. No blood. Nice whole teeth. Undaunted she tried again. This time we were fine.

For more hours than I wish to reveal, I have wrestled with capturing in words what I had felt at that precise instant. After many awkward, empty attempts, I realized I have neither the vocabulary nor the ability to do so. But thats okay. I think what I was attempting to do is akin to capturing the majesty of the Grand Canyon in a picture taken by a cell phone camera. It can not be done. And for those who have tried either, they understand what I mean.

I will leave it at thison Tuesday, December 30th, 1969 at 8:23 p.m. life for me had changed.

Do you know what is so special for a child's birthday celebration? It is the birthday cake. They love the moment of cutting the birthday cake. There can be so many gifts for the child, but the center of attraction is the birthday cake. Therefore, it is worth putting a lot of time and money in planning the birthday cake.

More than the taste, we need to concentrate in shape, color, and size of the birthday cake. It is always better if we could design the birthday cake in cartoon characters that are familiar to the children. If the birthday cake is made in the birthday child's favorite color, they will obliviously love it.

The birthday cake idea

If the birthday cake has a theme or idea the attraction for it, is immense. Here are few suggestions. There are Pirates and Princesses, a classic birthday cake themes for boys and girls. They can be Cinderella Castle Cake, ice Cream Castle Cake, Pirate Cake, Pirate Ship Cake, Princess Cake, Splendid Castle Cake, and Treasure Chest Cake

Sports- this birthday cake idea is for kids who love sports. They are Bowling Ball Cake, Bowling Lane Cake, Football Cake, and Skateboard Cake. Wings and Wheels-this birthday cake idea will really move your child. They are Train Cake, Dump Truck Cake, Fire Engine Cake, Outback Jeep Cake, Racetrack Cake, School Bus Cake, and Space Cake

Birthday cake designs

The birthday cake design can be anything. If the birthday cake design is different, meaningful, the kids, children and adults will appreciate it. Listed below are a few design ideas for your next birthday cake.

They are Apron Cake, Artist's Palette Cake, Boom Box Cake, Checkers Cake, Chinese Checkers Cake, Groovy T-shirt Cake, Pizza Cake, Private Eye Cake, Remote Control Cake, Smiley Face Cake, and Teeny Tiny Cake Tub Cake Upside-Down Cake, Volcano Cake Birth day cake decorating ideas

Once the birthday cake is made or purchased, it should be decorated well. The decoration is generally done to the top and sides of the cake. It is always better to decorate the birthday cake using the favorite color of the birthday boy or girl. The table in which the birthday cake is placed also should be decorated suitably.

Birthday cake recipe

An excellent birthday cake recipe is a 4-layer chocolate cake with whipped cream filling between the layers. The ingredients are -1 package Devils Food cake mix, 4 small cans or cups, Ready-to-Serve Chocolate Pudding, 1 egg, - 1 cup Chocolate Chips WHIPPED CREAM FILLING INGREDIENTS 2 cups, Whipping Cream, cup Powdered Confectioner's Sugar, 1 - 2 Teaspoons Vanilla

We can frost the entire cake with Chocolate Whipped Cream Frosting, and sprinkle the sides with chocolate sprinkles. The recipe Chocolate Whipped Cream consists of Frosting-1 cups, Heavy Whipping Cream1 cups, Powdered Sugar- 1/3-cup, Baking Cocoa-1/2 teaspoon, and Vanilla.

Children's birthday cakes

Children's birthday cakes must have a good design, shape, and size. If the cake has any theme or idea, the children will love it. If the design resembles a familiar character to the children like noddy, it will be an added attraction. The suggested children birthday cake models are Pureed Strawberries and Fresh Cream, Vanilla Sponge in Nemo, Teddy Bear, Power Puff Girls, Tweety, Winnie the Pooh, Flower Basket, Bob the Builder, Simpson's, Thomas The Train, Barbie, Star cakes.

You can pat yourself on the back if youre one of the thousands of small business professionals that have set up a blog to communicate with your potential clients. Or, maybe you havent started your business blog yet, but intend to. Take note now so you can avoid some of the consequences of do-it-yourself blogging.

Youve heard all the hype, listened to a few podcasts and teleseminars, and finally sorted out for yourself how blogging can really work for your targeted niche of readers and potential clients. You've set up your business blog.

Now, you may be asking yourself, If Im so smart at my business, why do I have a dumb do-nothing blog?

Here are a few of the pitfalls of creating your blog without any guidance from blogging experts:

1. You dont know how to use your blogging software, yet you expect to look like an expert and build credibility. How could you know? Blogs havent been around that long, and the blogging software is continually being upgraded. You need to learn how to use your blog features that increase your findability on the Internet and readership. For example, you need to regularly use trackback, pinging, and permalinks features.

2. You are writing in a vacuum, without knowing what questions your clients want answered. You havent done any keyword research, or asked your current clients what theyd like to read. Even worse, you under the impression that a blog should be like an online diary. You are writing about your personal life and details, detracting from the on-target, focused purpose of your blog as a business building tool.

3. You havent researched other blogs in your field, or spent any time on them, leaving comments. You need to get out there and raise your hand in the blogosphere, so people will know youre there. You also need to know whats going on in your field.

4. You havent put a subscription form on your blog, and you don't understand the whole RSS feed thingy. Your readers cant find you or know when you have updated your blog.

5. You havent put any images on your blog and your blog doesnt look as neat and tidy as your business is. It doesnt reflect your business image or brand.

6. You havent put any content-appropriate ads on your blog, that dont distract from your own products. Your blog has a non-professional, non-business look and feel to it.

7. You havent used categories for your blog posts and your readers are confused about wide-ranging subjects you write about. What is your core message? What is the focus of your blog? And important question you must answer for your readers: Whats in your blog for them?

8. You havent written anything for a month. When youve got a blog that has lack-luster traffic, your enthusiasm for writing begins to wane. Why bother posting, if no one is reading your words of wisdom? Then your blog slips even further, and begins to look like a ghost town. Worse, its still up on the Web, and people will find you and decide you maybe dont care, went out of business, or changed your mind.

Heres what is promised by having a blog:

- Search engines will find you better website traffic galore
- Instant credibility in your area of expertise
- A way to communicate with people interested in your field
- Dialogue through comments with potential clients
- Increased sales of your products, whether tangible goods, informational products, or services

How could you possibly know the most effective blogging strategies and tactics without learning and guidance by experts? Sure, blogs are for everyone and the software makes it easy and cheap for anyone to start a blog.

But a professional business blog that drives traffic and gets clients must be optimized correctly and treated as a valuable marketing strategy.

Here are some solutions:

1. Study the professional business blogs in the blogosphere and model their strategies.
2. Buy an ebook on how to set up and optimize a professional business blog
3. Take an advanced course in blogging (not one that just tells you how to get a free account and set it up, but one to explain how to optimize for business.)
4. Hire a team of professional blog experts to coach you in using your blog for your business.
5. Hire a business blog consultant team to help you tweak your blog, or do an extreme makeover
6. Delete your blog and start all over again

Blogs are an effective and powerful marketing tool for businesses of all sizes and types. Like any tool, though, you need to know how to use it correctly to maximize your results.

Box Building

Each type of sub requires it's own type of box. If a sub is installed in a box larger or smaller than what is supposed to, it will sound distorted/bad and could be destroyed. Boxes can be built in many shapes, but it is important that the box volume is calculated accurately to achieve maximum performance.

Materials

A box MUST be very sturdy. Most common building materials are 5/8" or thicker particle board or medium density fiberboard. If building a box with Plexiglas, do not use anything less that 1/2 inch thick. A common material used to mold complex shaped boxes is fiberglass, but it is very hard to work with, and require several layers for a smooth finish.

Gluing, Sealing

Glue should be used at all joints to fill any spaces. Any spaces will degrade the performance of your subs, not to mention the annoying noise air makes when being pushed out of a small hole. On applying the glue, let it cure for at least 24 hours before mounting the subs. This is a precautionary mesure to protect the rubbers used to make the subs from the high fumes that some manufacturers glue products have.

Holding Joints Together

In connecting box joints, it is best to screw the joints every four inches or so using 2" - 2-1/2" screws. Pre-drill about 3/4" deep, so that screws do not split the wood at the edges, especially when working with particle/bashboard.

Should I have a Box for Each Sub?

It is advised to have a separate chamber for each sub. Even though not necessary, here are two reasons why such a directive should be taken: First, if one of the subs blows, then the volume of the box will be "twice" as big for the one remaining working sub. This could cause problems and even damage the other sub. The second reason is bracing. Building a box with a divider in the middle will make the box more rigid.

Ports

Ports must be built into your box design to channel out the air made by the sub's vibrations. If a pre-made port is not available, the most common material is PVC . PVC is very rigid, comes in different diameters. Cut the tubing at the desired length. Consider the volume the port takes up when calculating the box volume. Cut a hole in the box. Make sure the hole is as perfect as possible to minimize gaps between the box and the tube. A couple wood braces can be added for screwing the port top the box. Seal the gaps using a proper sealant (Evo Stick or even silicone can be used).

Bracing

Boxes that are more than a foot in width or length or height, should be braced so that the box becomes more sturdy. This can be accomplished with a piece of wood maybe 3 or 4 inches wide across the box). It is a good idea to put wood blocks on the corners for reinforcement. Always consider that blocks, braces, neon lights, etc. inside a box take up space and should be accounted for when calculating internal volume.

Damping/Filling

Damping increases subwoofer efficiency by dissipating some energy that affects the sub, particularly the voice coil. It is advisable to put damping material inside a box. Pillow polyfill and fiberglass insulation are common, though polyfill is a lot easier on your skin. Polyfill also "tricks" a sub into thinking it is in a bigger box. Play around with different amounts of polyfill until you get the desired results.

Making it look professional

Make the box surface free from holes and spaces by adding wood fill. If you decide to paint the box, then you should apply primer first. Carpet or Vinyl padding is the best covering to use since they easily cover any outer blemishes on teh box and give the box a 'smooth' outlook. Be carefull when cutting the vinyl or carpet since such cutters tend to be very sharp. Cut a piece of carpet (or vinyl) big enough to cover the whole box. Apply adhesive to both box and carpet (EvoStick works great). Wait about a minute and place the fabric over the wood. For the best fit, stretch the fabric when applying it. The fabric should wrap around and end in a place of the box that will not be seen. Do one side at a time, cutting excess carpet. If possible, add staples preferabke heavy duty staples that can penetrate the box, to hold the fabric at the ends. NOTE: Do not cover each panel of the box before mounting it together since it would be impossible to find any 'leaks' that may exist in the box design much less fill these leaks.